Tough times never last, BUT tough people do……

Hey all, I am back with another favourite topic of mine – ‘Tough times never last, BUT tough people do’.

Can you believe that we are in the second month of the year already? How time flies! I personally love February. It is, after all, the month of love. In Bengaluru, the weather during this month is perfect as it is neither winter nor summer. And I really hope this blog will help you fall in love with your life again, no matter the phase you are going through in your life.

I would like to start by narrating a chapter of my life to showcase how adversity shaped me to face challenges and appreciate those difficult circumstances.

In 2006, I moved to Bengaluru for my Engineering course. I was very excited since it is one of my favourite cities. I recall spending many summers with cousins when we visited from my hometown of Bellari. Bengaluru’s cool climate was like paradise for me, considering Bellari is famous for its scorching weather. Our Holidays were simply glorious. Long walks, snacking on the streets, late-night gossip, endless laughter and sharing our trinkets and cloths with our cousins. Those were the days, as they say when your world is filled with finding happiness in little things.

Garden City - Bengaluru

Until I stepped out of my comfort zone and moved to a hostel in Bengaluru, where I had to adapt to my new life and live with minimal facilities. I never knew what I would be experiencing. I had to share a room with 7 of my college mates with minimal space given for storage. For a strength of around 30 people, we had only four bathrooms. I had to learn and do a few chores for the first time in my life, like washing my clothes etc. I remember the light in our room was never switched off during examinations and assessments as some of my roommates were early birds, and some were night owls. Having been raised in a family with much comfort, love and care from parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, it was challenging for me during my first year of hostel life. I remember calling my parents almost every single day and getting emotional.

Eventually, I got used to my new life. And during the second year, my sister also moved to Bengaluru for her Post-graduation. Her college and hostel both were located in the same area where I lived. My parents came along with my sister to set up things for her. I remember feeling very low after visiting her hostel. The reason being that my sister’s hostel infrastructure and the facilities were way better than mine. Though I had spent one year already in Bengaluru and began to adapt to my hostel well, this shook me. I was happy for her but felt terrible about not having those choices for me. Don’t you think this happens to all of us?

I share a special bond with my father, and he sensed that something troubled me. He knew that I was feeling low after visiting my sister’s hostel, and I tried to hide that emotion. He went to a book store and bought a book titled - ‘Tough times never last, but tough people do’. He did not utter a single word but handed over the book to me. I read the title several times. Over and over, in fact. That moment is still fresh in my mind. Even though this happened 14 years ago, I recall it vividly like it happened yesterday.

When I started to read the book, 2 ideas stood out for me.

1)    Tough times do come in each of our lives only to make us tougher. Like they say – “How good are you on your bad days” defines you.

2)     Also, sometimes it is not the situation that is tough, but it is our interpretation of the situation that makes it look small or terrible.

The book slowly helped me analyse my thoughts and how I could work to build positivity in my current situation. I noticed my roommates, who had joined the hostel along with me, were all having a great time. I felt like I had to shift my focus from ‘what I did not have’ to ‘what I did have’ and to go with the flow. Most of the times, we are so focused solely on what we do not have that we tend to miss the opportunity of enjoying what we are blessed with.

Looking back today, I would say those four years spent at the hostel were the most beautiful and memorable days of my life. I have so many wonderful moments that I will cherish forever.

Tough times and good times are not the opposite; they are complementary. You only fully appreciate the good times only when you have endured tough times.

In one of my conversation with my husband, he told me how he appreciated even the most minor luxuries we take for granted in cities after going on a trek in the Himalayas. Defecating in the open mountains on chilly mornings, sleeping on the mats, eating basic food all keep the trek challenging. Once you finish the trek, you are filled with gratitude for having a bed, warm room, eating home-cooked food, and most importantly, having a bathroom right inside the house. He still treasures the fantastic scenery, sunsets, white snow, clean air and the good things a trek entails. Every trek has good times and challenging times. But when you look back at the trek after years, you only have good memories of it.

A trek is only complete when you get through the tough moments. Likewise, life is complete and fulfilling when you learn to overcome the tough times rather than withdrawing or getting bogged down.

I end this blog by saying, ‘ Tough times never last, but tough people do.’

As a Life Coach, I will help you find ways to deal with the tough times you are going through in your life. If you need my help, please book a free clarity call with me. In this call, we discuss your challenges and see if we are the right fit for each other. Further, I will guide you on how we can go about the process.

To book a clarity call with me, reach me at – shobita.raghu@gmail.com