The number one reason why most of us are mediocre, and the rest of us are highly successful.

Hey all, I am back with my 3^rd blog and super excited to share with you about one more topic. I believe this blog will help you accept and even romanticize the usual ups and downs/ highs and lows in life. This is a lengthy but essential blog. Make yourself comfortable, see that you are undisturbed, so you enjoy the reading.

I want to start by defining what success means to me right now. It is the freedom to choose what I want and the passion to accomplish it. It is not about the definitions, society or past conditioning imposes on me.

The central idea of my blog, if put in one line - "Everything you want is on the other side of fear" - Jack Canfield.

So as we all know that there are several types of fear. Today I am going to talk to you about "Fear of Failure".

All of us at different times in our life, experience the "fear of failure." It is quite common for everyone. Nobody on this planet has achieved success without surmounting this Fear.

When we are passing through a dark tunnel the way out, is through it not around it or over it.

Recently, I have learnt that though this Fear is familiar, it is important to know how to overcome it and still keep progressing.  

Fear of failure keeps you alert on your journey and helps you take calculated risks. In my second blog, https://shobitaraghu.blogspot.com/2020/09/firststep.html, where I talk about- "How essential is it to take your first step", I narrated an instance from the famous Bollywood movie MS Dhoni. In the same movie, there is one more scene at the railway platform where Dhoni's mind keeps debating between two choices. One is to continue in his secure railway job or to pursue his dream to play for the Indian Cricket team.   

The first option appears safe, while the second seems risky. What if Dhoni failed to make it to the Indian team? He can neither go back to his railway job nor play cricket. Nevertheless, Dhoni chooses the riskier option, and the rest, as you know, is history.

The message I want to convey here is, Dhoni's dream at that time was to play for India. That, Dhoni becoming a legendary cricketer is secondary in the context of this blog. I have used this example so that it easily strikes your heart since Dhoni is a household name. It is not about becoming a legend, but it is about following your dreams and living your life, giving it your best.

It is absolutely normal to have "Fear of failure". Use it as a compass to guide you in the right direction. A soldier always feels fearful before going into battle. Still, he uses Fear to keep himself in relative safety and fights the enemy.

Also, how many Bollywood Celebrities have only hit films at the box office even after they are super successful. It is always a combination of failures and success. Many celebrities keep talking about the jitters they experience before the release of their movie.

Sharukh Khan has had massive flops in recent times. Don't you think he feels Fear of failure when he signs for a new project? I am sure he does, like any other human being.

From my own experience, I want to share an incident relating to the scenario we are talking about. In 2016 my husband and I started a new company "On a Pedal" - A Cycling Experience on the streets of Old Bengaluru. The first two years were tough, with only seasonal customers. During the 3rd year, we were wondering about how to increase the inflow of customers. We even thought of closing the company. To our surprise, one day, we were pleased to learn that Airbnb started hosting experiences in Bengaluru, and this was a great opportunity. Though our tours were listed on other famous platforms until then, Airbnb provided us with a level playing field with respect to competition. We started to get customers instantly, and with reviews on Airbnb, it became a blockbuster for us. This resulted in business even during off-seasons.

The pandemic, unfortunately, has temporarily halted the tours.

Here are a few reviews from our Airbnb Customers.

Raghu, my husband, co-ordinates the tour with customers as the main guide.

Isn't it a Great Joy to see your customers enjoy your service?

The intention of bringing this story is to convey that most of the times, we take a step back just before we could have found a way to thrive.

When we took a chance on Airbnb, we were sceptical about the results, and the Fear of failure was constantly playing in our minds. This Fear could have stopped us from experimenting. I have learnt from this experience that Patience and Awareness are the two elements you must carry with you on your journey to achieving your goals.

Fear of failure could afflict you in any of the topics listed below. They are often disguised as excuses.

I can list below a few from my personal experiences. 

1)" Career Shift" - When I started exploring my life as a Life Coach, my inner voice repeatedly warned me, saying, "are you crazy to step into this unknown territory?"

But this is what I have learnt. You never truly know-how your culture influences and shapes you until you leave and spend time in another society with a different way of thinking.

And I keep reminding myself with the below quotes.

                                 AND

I also feel that when you think something to be very difficult and challenging, you unconsciously play a small game. Instead, the best way is to break down your goals into small steps and take it one step at a time.

2) "Comfort Zone" – We are essentially creators of habit. And, our minds are geared to play it safe. When you want to do some important task out of your comfort zone, Fear stalks us and speaks in the voice of resistance. Despite that, keep marching forward.

I would like to add a quote below which I found striking.

3) "I don't have time"- is the biggest of all excuses. We spend hours watching Netflix, Amazon, and on WhatsApp, Facebook etc. I am equally guilty of these indulgences. But, if this is your biggest challenge, then being conscious and aware of how you spend your time is very important.

 4) "Result Focused"- This is especially true at the beginning where people are focused more on results than on the process. They say it is good to do 6 things 100 times than doing 100 things 6 times. Focusing on the result in initial days makes you stressful and leads to less productivity.

The process is like watering a plant, and the result is like reaping the fruits which takes a while.

Here is a famous quote by Bill gates.

So, keeping all this in mind, let's look at a few ways you can manage your fears, instead of allowing them to hold you back from accomplishing what you are passionate about.

1) Let the Fear of failure guide you. Consider your Fear as an indication that you are doing something different, which could even be something great.

2) Acknowledge that there is Fear and do not spend more time in thinking about it, so it does not drain you, and you miss out on doing what needs to be done to fulfil your task at hand.

3) No one has climbed the ladder of success without experiencing failures during their journey. Don't let the setbacks stop you from progressing towards your dream.

4) Read about successful people, study them, understand their pitfalls. So you can increase the chances of your success.

5) Preferably have a mentor who can help you identify obstacles in your path and guide you.

6) Surround yourself with like-minded people who can add fuel to your journey.

7) Ask for help from others when you cannot solve the issue yourself. We all are humans, and we have our own limitations, and our limitations can be someone's strength. So ask help, and you will be surprised by the goodness of other people to help you.

My mentor Puja once framed a sentence for Fear, and it has stayed with me ever since,

Which goes as - "Let your Fear either take the back seat of your car or take the seat next to you but don't let your fear drive your car".

They also say -"Fail early to succeed early". Which means the early you get to deal with the wrong ways and you take them away from your path your approach increases for the right way. So keep trying and don't take your mistakes/failures too seriously.

In conclusion, I believe we should all learn to enjoy the journey of life and not get too attached to failures and successes. When you are making small signs of progress, and enjoying each day with what you are doing, it does not matter how far you are yet to travel.

Now the choice is yours

1)    Live your dreams and thrive at being successful or,

2)    Just play a mediocre game.

Now that you are motivated with this blog I hope you bring positive change in your life and I am always here to help you, please reach me on - shobita.raghu@gmail.com.