Are you a prisoner of your own beliefs?

Hi all, we are fast approaching the end of another year. And boy! What a year we've had? Isn't it?

Do you recall the number one resolution you made at the start of the year? Did you fulfil it? If you did, a hearty congratulations. If you didn't? No worries. This blog will help you revisit and analyze your number one reason for not making it.

It is a well-known fact that most New Year resolutions fail. Now I ask you, what was that underlying belief or thought about you when you failed at your attempts?

In this blog, I want to talk about our beliefs and their massive impact on our lives. Beliefs that determine our successes and failures. 

Let's start by asking, what is a belief? The Oxford dictionary says belief is 'an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof'. The last part of the definition 'Especially one without proof' is an eye-opener. If we all understand this and change our perspective about beliefs, life will be a lot easier and happy as well. Isn't it?

I still remember 'The Millionaire Mind' training by Harv Eker that I attended in 2014. Those days, I spent most of the time at work with little interest in other activities. But my husband, who is an entrepreneur was very keen on attending this training, and so I accompanied him. I had no clue about what the next three days were going to be like. But, I kept an open mind and hopped on the bandwagon.

 It was a fantastic learning experience. Unique and well outside my comfort zone.

I can say with certainty that it played a vital role in helping me let go of my strong limiting beliefs and to look at life from a different perspective. During the three-day course, Harv Eker would repeat this line 100 times –

'Don't believe a word I say until you experience it'.

He didn't want us to follow him blindly. His course was experience-centric. He only told us to use the tools, techniques and guidelines he gave us and create our own experiences. While good experiences boost our confidence, bad experiences teach us a lesson that you carry forward for the rest of your life. Many experiences leave an unforgettable memory in our lives. Besides, experiences are personal to each of us based on the limits we set for ourselves.

Have you seen a toddler who wants to experience many things in life, unmindful of the elder's beliefs? At that tender age, they have no fear of judgement or failure. The more you warn them not to do certain things the more likely they will do it. These young brains are open to choices, and they want to experience anything and everything that excites them. They will only learn after attempting it and experiencing it. Most of you who've had toddlers will vouch to my point.

But, as we grow up, we begin to imbibe the fears, beliefs of people around us and start adopting them in our lives. We narrow down our choices and choose a safe path. While we were so creative when we were young, we get very comfortable being predictable as we grow in many aspects of our lives.

So have you kept the child within you alive?

I want to share another personal incident that happened in 2014 February. It was our first Marriage Anniversary, and we planned a trip to Kashmir. I still remember the inner circle of relatives being cautious about our plans. But my husband is an avid traveller and did his homework before deciding on the Kashmir tour.

We flew to Kashmir, holding some fear in our hearts. When we landed in Srinagar, there was a bandh for 3 days on a major boiling issue which did not help to reduce our fears. But we were blown away by the hospitality of the locals. Much to our surprise, we were greeted with great care and love, which instilled a feeling of security within us.

People call Kashmir Heaven on Earth, and we only realized its beauty when we visited the place. I will cherish this trip for the rest of my life.

The reason why I am telling you this story is because had we known about the bandh earlier we would have cancelled the trip. Because our 'limiting beliefs' would not have allowed us to visit Kashmir.

Disclaimer: Kashmir in 2014 was more peaceful and stable compared to today's Kashmir. We did our due diligence before going to Kashmir. We were only not aware of the bandh. Please do your due diligence before visiting Kashmir today.

Gulmarg, Kashmir

Pahalgaum, Kashmir

   

Lidder River, Pahalgaum

In May 2015, I quit my job. During the exit interview with a prominent person, I expressed my desire to start a business, a new venture with my husband. His response shocked me. He said, unlike in a Job where you usually move up the ladder, and people help you to get promoted, in a Business, you can only succeed by not allowing others to grow. He forgot that most MNC's are business with 'Profit and loss', 'Balance sheet' and Competition. They were started small, and people in it helped each others growth.

I did not let his belief system ruin my dreams. Something inside me spurred me on to explore my strengths and then choose my field.

My friends always appreciated me for having a deeper understanding and possessing the capability to express my thoughts clearly. During one such conversation, a close friend suggested that I start blogging. At that time, due to my limiting belief that 'I was not good enough', I cocooned myself. I only came out of this cocoon when I started training my mind with the help of books and coaching. 

And now when I write these blogs, I am happy to receive appreciative messages from my old friends who had not spoken to me for ages. And the icing on the cake is 'they connect with my writing'. I could have never attempted blogging if I had kept myself caged in my limiting beliefs.

I will end this blog with the story of Hanuman. In his childhood, Hanuman had a lot of strength and used to be a prankster. When he played his tricks on the sages performing sacred rituals, they cursed him by saying he would forget all his powers. Knowing fully well that he had a purpose of serving later in life, they gave relief to the curse by saying that, 'he will know his power when he is reminded of it.'

Later, Hanuman was part of a search party looking for Sita. They searched for many days without any success. They almost gave up when they came to know from an Old Vulture that Ravana has taken her across the seas to Lanka. On hearing this, the search party debated on "ways to cross the seas". No one thought they would come back even if they succeed crossing the sea. Here, the Jambavan, the bear chief who was old and wise, reminded Hanuman of his immense power. Immediately Hanuman assumed a gigantic form, crossed the sea and eventually succeeded in locating Sita.

Our ancient texts are full of such wisdom, and the authors subtly tell us, like Hanuman we have more strength than we think. We are capable of doing extraordinary things if we can surmount our limiting beliefs and attitudes. Who is that Jambavan who needs to remind you of your strengths??? It can be your family, well-wishers or a chosen Coach. Most importantly, you are blessed to remind yourself and realize your strengths and work on overcoming your limiting beliefs.

As a coach, I will work with you to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome it.

Do write to me. My email id is:

shobita.raghu@gmail.com